things that scared me 9/18-10/3

9/18 - There is a girl with whom I have a strange and nostalgic history and it has been almost a year since whatever happened to us happened. But today was her birthday, and I knew it, so when I saw her, I kissed her forehead and wished her a happy birthday. After school, she saw me and said hello. (and somehow that day everything became okay)

9/19 - I kissed a girl in front of my brother.

9/20 - I watched a horror movie. I'm really lame. I probably do have some kind of psychological terror from childhood in which I can't watch a horror movie without getting really, truly scared from it.

9/21 - I wore a Lolita outfit out & about town (:

9/22 - I wrote my outfit to school, too. I was worried what my teachers would think.

9/23 - I had an honest talk with my darling lola about stuff I had kept inside a long time.

9/24 - My choir teacher had been unfair. The people behind me were talking NONSTOP (Ironic, though, since she shushes everyone else when they make one remark), and the teacher was obviously trying to get them to shut up and had a lecture about how we should be asking questions in class or we won't learn. I'm trying to learn, yeah, cause I'm too poor to take private lessons and yes, I'm irritated that people are inconsiderate of that fact. So when I did have a question and he ignored me, I went up to him after class and said, "Hey, if you tell us to ask questions and then ignore me, that doesn't make me want to learn." To which, he apologized and replied, "I'm really sorry. It's really not you I'm frustrated with, and I'm sorry I'm not a big enough person to answer your questions and not blame your section on those people."

And so yeah. Speaking up saves education. People who don't shut the fck up don't.

9/25 - birthday! We went to a horror haunt thing. Again, psychological stuff. XDD

9/26 - 9/28 - I forget :(

9/29 - I went to talk to my counselor about some stuff I thought was unfair.

9/30 - I auditioned for the school play. I was literally shaking.

10/1 - I went to talk to my favorite teacher of ALL TIME! I really think he's interesting, so I want to be on his best side. So I'm nervous.

10/2 - I hid. I'll write about this later.

10/3 - I wrote to my old office about my fail. She wrote me back and I felt lots better.

10/4 - Texted my old friends in Colorado. It seems hard to try to get a relationship you fear has failed.